“So, what have you been up to?” — An open letter to my loved ones.

When you ask what I’ve been doing my answer is always the same — STUDYING. I’m sure you get tired of hearing it as much as I get tired of saying it. But my answer will be the same today, tomorrow, and next year.

It’s hard to explain life as a law student. It’s one of those things you have to experience to understand, like being a parent I would imagine. Basically, law school is my life. I don’t have one outside of it. And I know that’s a  hard concept to grasp. “What about weekends and breaks?” you ask. What about them? Weekends don’t exist in this world. Any holiday breaks we get aren’t breaks at all. They’re a miraculous blessing sent from above that allows us more time to study. We get excited for that extra time to read and attempt to get “ahead”. But you’re never really ahead in law school. There’s always going to be a case and its rule you don’t fully understand, a paper to tweak (or start for people like me), an assignment to submit, and practice problems to do. Basically, there is NEVER enough time. Even as I’m typing this, I should be studying for my Torts final on Monday. Time is EVERYTHING.

This is why it really aggravates my soul when you get upset with me because you haven’t seen me or heard from me. You say things like, “You make time for what you want.” “You need to prioritize your time.” “I saw you at the BET Hip Hop awards but you can’t call me.” Listen.

  1. I actually can’t make time for what I want. There are so many things that I want to do that I’ve had to sacrifice for the next three years. A friend recently told me that the reward is greater than the sacrifice, and that’s been my mantra. If I could make more time in a day, I would. And I would dedicate it all to you. So, if you actually see me or hear from me, realize that is me trying. Understand that I stopped reading, writing, studying, or sleeping for you.
  2. I have prioritized my time. And my six classes took up all of it. Law school is a competition, and I guaranty the time that I’m not studying, someone else is. Making them that much more likely to be ahead of the grading curve. My grades don’t determine whether I’m here or not, other people’s grades do. I didn’t come this far to be at the bottom of my class and potentially be sent home.
  3. Yes, I took one weekend out of 5 months to decompress and have a good time! And the same day I got back I had a memo due at midnight! No regrets — I made the highest score in my class. You should be proud of me.

You know how in high school and undergrad you have to make time to study? In law school, you have to make time to do the normal things like shower, eat, and sleep. I imagine this is what hazing feels like, honestly. For the first 2.5 months of the semester I cried at least once a week. I still do, just not as often. My upbringing has made me an extremely family-oriented person and taught me the value of real friends. So you should know that it’s hard for me too and I miss you all every single day. But it is mentally and physically impossible for me to be as available as I once was.

With that said, please remember this post next time you think about me. This is a whole new world. My workload is insane, I’m always tired, and I barley have time for myself let alone other people. So please try to be more understanding. All my love.

If my post didn’t provide clarity at all and you absolutely need a better understanding, you might try a book. I’ve never read this one, but it’s what came up from a quick Google search.

Disclosure: Some of the links included in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. All opinions and recommendations are my own.

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